woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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