I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
