Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
