I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
