Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it penis luge time yet?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
