dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
