I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
