WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
