I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
