Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
