You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
