are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
