I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
