69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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