so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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