the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
