My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
