On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
