She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
