you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
her vagine was all disorganized.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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