it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No more Irish car bombs ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
