Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
