And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
