He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The power of my boobs compel you
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
