But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
