its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
