You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
