Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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