I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
