I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
