I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
