dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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