Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize