You're a womanizer and a bitch.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize