talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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