Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
