I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
