I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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