i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
