u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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