is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I currently don't understand fingers.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
