it wasn't lemon gatorade
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
