Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize