If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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