I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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