Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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