he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize