You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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