Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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