I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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