i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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