please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
