I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You did what with his pubic hair?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
