Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
