This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
