Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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