i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
