I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
