am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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